Want to be NEEDED or Need to be WANTED

I had this revelation the other day, that my new friend Nikki doesn't need me to be around , she wants me to be around. That is incredible and scary at the same time. It is an awesome feeling that someone you are really starting to care for is hanging out with me because they want to, not because they need something from me. Scary because I have never felt that before and I don't really know what I am supposed to do. With my last relationship Amy needed me to be her father figure for a lot reason, and I played that role for a while until I couldn't stand it any more and she did what she did to get that need met in her life. And with Deb before that she was into me, not because of Scott but because I was a "Christian man", which I am, but when little pieces of Scott started to poke through that image, things didn't work out so well. For the first time ever I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not, but at the same time I am still getting comfortable with being with who I am, it freaks me out to trust someone else to hang around with me based on me. It has also given me a little more incite to why the relationship with God is even better when you want to be with HIM instead of just needing something from HIM. I mean we all have our laundry list of prayers we ask for, even people who don't have an inkling as to who and what God is do that, when they get desperate or want to win a game or do good at something. IT has to mean so much more when those things come from someone who loves and cares about you. I am excited beyond be belief to be experiencing that but like I said I just don't know how to handle that and I am afraid that I am going to do something stupid to screw it up. So how do I deal with being WANTED for me and not NEEDED for something that I can give?